WE NEED AN INVESTIGATION
Continuing the lighthearted theme that has taken hold here since the election, I've noticed a strange compulsion toward violence in certain public endeavors. First there were all those break-ins and rock throwings preceding the election. Now, there's the Pistons/Pacers brawl in Detroit, which you can see running 24/7 on the the Malice in the Palace Channel (aka, ESPN). Then the Tigers decided to find out if they could really lick the 'cocks in Death Valley - andnot just by running up the score. Then U.S. Secret Service and the President himself had to mix it up with their Chilean counterparts this weekend. And some nut gets into a scuffle at the unveiling of the new Washington Nationals - well, according to Drudge, but that story has been erased from Drudge history (odd).

We all know why this is happening. Did we learn nothing from that incident when the Klingons and crew of the Enterprise went at it - with swords, even - because some amorphous alien entity fed on their anger and hatred? Come on, we need to get the NASA boys in on this. We need congressional investigations. It's mind rays, I tell you. Where's my aluminum foil?