I'm sitting here, with the wife and kids, being subjected to the festering sore of a movie that is the Ron Howard/Jim Carrey version of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
Without a doubt, this is the worst Christmas movie of all time...worse than "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"...worse than "Jingle all the Way"...in fact it's worse than all twenty-four hours of the twenty-four hour "Jingle All the Way" marathon on FX.
This movie is the worst because it is terrible on many levels, small and large. First off, it is loud, noisy and deliberately disjointed in the way that too many written by committee Hollywood "blockbusters" are produced.
And, like most of those Christmas blockbusters it hypocritically condemns commercialism while spawning a marketing bonanza of toys, greeting cards and plastic shot glasses.
However, what sets it apart, and below, other failed big budget Christmas movies, like "Scrooged," is the way it completely and totally inverts and perverts the whole point of one of the most beloved Christmas stories of all time, be it the original book by Dr. Suess or cartoon by Chuck Jones.
In the original story, which we should all know, "every Who down in Whoville loved Christmas a lot." And, as the ending makes abundantly clear, the Whos love Christmas for spiritual reasons: for love, for family, for all the reasons we want people to appreciate the holiday.
The Grinch, however, hates Christmas for reasons that boil down to his heart being "two sizes too small."
Ultimately, however, after stealing the toys, the decorations, the food, etc., the Grinch sees that the Whos care more about holding hands and singing the praises of the day than they do about the trappings of the day. In short, his contact with the devout Whos, and the example they set, makes the Grinch realize how empty his life is.
And, in the end, the Grinch himself converts to the Who way of thinking.
Of course, modern day Hollywood could have none of that.
So they had to reverse the whole point of the original story.
In the Howard/Carrey film, the Whos are a bunch of pious hypocrites, more concerned with toys and noise that the true meaning of the season. The Grinch, meanwhile, was the victim of their prejudice because he was different, making him hate the holidays.
Ultimately, the poor, picked upon, Grinch by an act of, basically, terrorism (stealing half the town and blowing things up by crashing his flying vehicle into the city) makes the Whos realize what a bunch of selfish, uncaring, SOB's that religious people can be.
Then, with the Whos realizing the error of their ways, and celebrating diversity by embracing the Grinch and his "alternate" views, our furry green hero can successfully re-enter the more enlightened society.
In short, the producers of the film made a Christmas film that is nothing more than a cinematic attack on Christianity.
Talk about trying to "steal" Christmas. By turning a Christmas classic into an attack on the "reason for the season," these studio executives show they are really the ones who have hearts--and brains--that are at least "two sizes too small."
